"The Incident"

The name of an important episode of LOST, and also the result of my "Jersey Shore Nickname Generator.

Books I have found lying on my front stoop:

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Summer

Someone once told me I seemed "like the incarnation of a unicorn." It was one of Roomie's friends from home, and we hadn't even been smoking pot when she said it.

And on that note: cone horn:






Creepy huh?

Keeping it klassy

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Question

What do you do when someone asks you what you do for a living, and you want to be polite and ask them the same thing, but you already know they're a stripper?


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Miss Congeniality.

Seriously, I just teared up at the end there.


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Realization

I've seen "Miss Congeniality" 10-15 times.



I'm having an AWESOME Saturday night.


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Pick-tures

Baked it.

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Taylor gets really mad...

...when I post hipstamatic pictures.



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Ladiezzzz

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My weekend...

Oh---there was also beer and tacos and strippers.

This was completely unplanned.

<3 Roxie

Boo-yah

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Werk

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Hangover Shame

I did not sleep well last night.


It wasn't the heartburn, dry-mouth, garbage truck, headache, or 6am charley-horse that drove a stake through the heart of my morning REM cycle.

No, it was my hangover shame.



My--- oh my god I scared my roommate, screamed at my ex-boyfriend, lost my bike key, booty danced in a nearly empty bar, ate a bowl of spaghetti with my hands, and left a sobbing message on someone's voicemail ---shame.

I woke up today with puffy eyes, a paralyzing sense of dread, and a new Facebook friend.




Friends, I know you have all been there.

Please take a moment to share with me your (favorite!) moments of hangover shame so I don't feel so much like a twenty-six year shit stain.


Or don't, whatever.

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Dogpatch Saloon

The Dogpatch Saloon has a jazz band and free chili on Sunday nights.


This man made me one hell of a gin gimlet.



(Look how happy I am)

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Grandma just learned how to blog from her fart drone. I mean, smart phone.