"The Incident"

The name of an important episode of LOST, and also the result of my "Jersey Shore Nickname Generator.

Books I have found lying on my front stoop:

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Summer

Someone once told me I seemed "like the incarnation of a unicorn." It was one of Roomie's friends from home, and we hadn't even been smoking pot when she said it.

And on that note: cone horn:






Creepy huh?

Keeping it klassy

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Question

What do you do when someone asks you what you do for a living, and you want to be polite and ask them the same thing, but you already know they're a stripper?


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Miss Congeniality.

Seriously, I just teared up at the end there.


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Realization

I've seen "Miss Congeniality" 10-15 times.



I'm having an AWESOME Saturday night.


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Pick-tures

Baked it.

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Taylor gets really mad...

...when I post hipstamatic pictures.



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Ladiezzzz

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My weekend...

Oh---there was also beer and tacos and strippers.

This was completely unplanned.

<3 Roxie

Boo-yah

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Werk

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Hangover Shame

I did not sleep well last night.


It wasn't the heartburn, dry-mouth, garbage truck, headache, or 6am charley-horse that drove a stake through the heart of my morning REM cycle.

No, it was my hangover shame.



My--- oh my god I scared my roommate, screamed at my ex-boyfriend, lost my bike key, booty danced in a nearly empty bar, ate a bowl of spaghetti with my hands, and left a sobbing message on someone's voicemail ---shame.

I woke up today with puffy eyes, a paralyzing sense of dread, and a new Facebook friend.




Friends, I know you have all been there.

Please take a moment to share with me your (favorite!) moments of hangover shame so I don't feel so much like a twenty-six year shit stain.


Or don't, whatever.

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Dogpatch Saloon

The Dogpatch Saloon has a jazz band and free chili on Sunday nights.


This man made me one hell of a gin gimlet.



(Look how happy I am)

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Grandma just learned how to blog from her fart drone. I mean, smart phone.

April 26th

Who is going to the Tune Yards show?

Guys!

What is up with Celebrity Apprentice? How have I never heard of this? I watched 5 minutes of it tonight, during which Meatloaf picked a fight with Gary Busey. It has Lil Jon, Janet Jackson, and the deaf lady Josh likes on season 3 of the West Wing.

Sign me up.

Wednesday

Lindsay Lohan Snorting Coke Off The Sidewalk
www.thesuperficial.com

Consider the sandwich.

Some of the first American sandwich recipes appear in the White House Cookbook, published in 1891.

Made It.

Pear Frangipane.

Spring is here

No more winter bullshit, right sisters?

Working on it.

I've studied up, time to give it another shot.